Bollybama and Bollysama

Now that Obama has assured us that Osama is dead and the world is a safer place, it cannot be ignored that art imitates life or the other way around. Bollywood has been at the heels of a story as big as this, and fictitiously we took a look around to see how film-makers perceived a storyline of an ‘Obama-Osama’ saga, in their own inimitable way

Film : Inteqaam ki Aag

Director : Manmohan Desai

Amrit Verma(Satyen Kappu) is a honest inspector in Azad Nagar, living with his wife Durga(Nirupa Roy) and his twin boys Obama Verma(Amitabh Bachchan) and Osama Verma(Shatrughan Sinha). One day, Daku Mangal Singh(Madan Puri) kills Amrit Verma, and kidnaps Osama and flees the country to Afghanistan. Durga in the meanwhile escapes in a ship that takes her and her son Obama to the United States. In a masala plot that ensues, Obama becomes the president of the US and Osama becomes the most daring criminal in the world. Unknown that to them they are brothers, they fight each other. Only when Osama dies, does Durga reveal his true identity. Rekha as Michele Obama, Master Bittu and Iftikar(as Vice President Bidden) form the rest of the cast

Film : Let's Rock!

Director : Farhan Akthar

Obama(Farhan Akthar) and Osama(Arjun Rampal) are a part of a rock band in Goa, along with their friend Tony Blair(Luke Kenny) and Joe Bidden(Purab Kohli).  Obama, the lead singer and the most popular member of the group wants to take his band to the United States, while Osama, the lead guitarist wants to take the band to countries where they can make a difference to the people. In the ensuing argument, the band splits and Osama moves to Afghanistan to stir a revolution with his music, while Obama and Joe start a band in the United States. Tony moves to London. When one hears of the others success, try to destroy each other with their music. Gulshan Grover plays Gilani (a music company owner in Pakistan), who causes this rift. Prachi Desai as Michele Obama and Shahana Goswami as Osama’s third wife form the rest of the cast

Film: Bhai No.1 

Director : David Dhawan

Obama Kumar(Govinda) and Osama Kumar(Chunky Pandey) are two good for nothing brothers who while away their time with their father Kumar’s(Kader Khan) money. One day their father sends them to the city to buy some machine tools for their factory. They get swindled and in the ensuing fight, Obama gets beaten and Osama loses his memory. The captured Osama gets brain washed into becoming a villain. Obama then has to save his brother from the clutches of the evil Saddam(Shakti Kapoor). Karishma Kapoor as Michele Sharma and Raj Babbar as the politician form the rest of the cast. The movie also boasts of the hit number, “ Hai Rama, Tu Obama, mein Osama ”

Film : Wind

Director : Deepa Mehta 

Obama(Lisa Ray) and Osama(Nandita Das) are two eunuchs who live in bylanes of Byculla. Their day beings and ends with doing the rounds, collecting money from the rich at signals, shops and weddings. A photographer George Bush(John Abraham) comes into their life, bringing a lot of cheer and laughter, but by the time they know it, the two are caught in a jealous triangle wanting George to themselves. The movie forms a touching tale of how two good friends who have to fight for their right in society are torn apart by love and become sworn enemies.  

Masala Barbossa!

DMD is a movie that will open your eyes to a few truths of life, that go beyond the movie itself. There were a few questions right through the movie – who is Michael Barbossa? Who is this Rana Daggubatti that Bips dumped John for? Will Abhishek Bachchan do a movie, without you feeling they could have casted Amitabh instead?

By the end of the movie, DMD helped answer all my questions. I now know the origins of Michael Barbossa, why Bips should have dumped John a long time ago and I also know that Amitabh could have done this role easily.

Dum Maaro Dum offers Abhishek a chance to breathe some action into his dilapidating career with his best friend (Rohan Sippy) offering that lifeline to him. The first half moves swiftly, Abhishek enters the scene, Babbar romances and then panics, Rana croons, Bips does some inane ‘frankfinn’ training, Aditya Pancholi shoots off his hip, and suddenly sex, drugs, rock and roll in Goa is presented with Russian panache. We are led through a roller coaster of events that has twists, turns, unnecessary love sequences, brilliant action sequences, mediocre songs, tacky dialogues, some standout characters and Vidya Balan.

Even the twists and truns in the movie, cant make you ignore Abhishek’s dialogue writer for giving him the worst lines for an obsessed narcotics cop. Even Naseer had better lines in Jalwa(The Beverly Hills Cop rip off set in 80s Goa). ‘Baaki sab ke liye Google hai’, ‘Do peg leke hi gutter mein utartha hoon’, ‘mere death day par wet day manana’, ‘phone a friend’ or even the ‘Rang Barse’ sequence, come across as tacky and damp. I still feel, they could have cast Amitabh as a froggy cop and the movie would have probably been better!

Yet DMD has moments of genius. Bipasha’s death scene, the flea market shooting sequence, the dorm-shower fight sequence, are A-grade action sequences that make you wonder why Rohan Sippy would just string the rest of the movie with a pretty loose thread.

My biggest joy was to see Aditya Pancholi back in the thick of things. He has been wasted in recent times, both literally and figuratively with his alcohol issues. He delivers a Dengzongpa-esque performance that is believable. Rana Daggubatti, who sleep-walks through a Sippy movie, overshadows Bachchan and takes over Bips, makes me want to grow up to become him!

Finally Ms Padukone loses all inhibitions making Daddy proud, in a song that has the worst lyrics but works big time for a drug bust sequence...Didnt get her final luring look towards the camera before she disappears though!

Overall Dum Maaro Dum could have been Rohan’s Sholay but ends up being a weaker Bluffmaster!